In Hedidor's Mind

June 13, 2017, marked a day that changed my life forever. On that day, my father, my friend, my football analyst, historian and a former police officer passed away. As I reflect on his life and the lessons he taught me, I cannot help but feel sad knowing that he’s no longer here to hold my hand and guide me through life’s challenges.

Growing up, my father was a typical traditional disciplinarian but also emphasized the importance of education. It was his dream to see all of his children receive the best education possible, no matter the circumstances. He instilled in me the importance of honesty, integrity, and hard work. He made sure that my siblings and I received the best education possible and taught us the value of looking out for each other. One of the many attributes that my brother’s friends and colleagues admire about him is his love for helping others, no matter the circumstances, and his availability whenever someone calls for his help. We learned this attribute directly from my father’s teachings and the values he instilled in us from a young age.

One of the most significant lessons my father taught me was the value of perseverance. He always said that success comes to those who are willing to put in the time and effort required to achieve their goals. This lesson has stayed with me throughout my life, and I have found it to be particularly useful in times of difficulty.

My father, however, never had the best of marriages, as he had more than one wife and many children. Despite this, I remember when I introduced my now wife of four years and then-girlfriend to him, he offered me advice on how to maintain a successful relationship. In his advice, he told me to keep my attention on one woman and to create a peaceful and ambient living environment in my home. He emphasized the importance of always being the man who cares and provides for the family and that hard work never hurts.

As I navigated through my marriage, I came across challenges that I’m sure are common among young couples. Communication difficulties, financial stress, and conflicting schedules were just some of the obstacles we faced. However, I leaned on the advice my father had given me and the values he instilled in me, and I am proud to say that my wife and I have been able to overcome these challenges and strengthen our relationship.

In today’s world, it’s easy to get caught up in the fast pace of technology and social media, but my father’s teachings remind me to always prioritize my values and maintain a strong sense of purpose. The lessons I learned from my father, combined with the love and support of my wife, have been instrumental in helping me navigate the challenges of married life.

Another lesson that my father taught me was the importance of having a strong moral compass. As a police officer, he was faced with difficult ethical dilemmas every day, and he always stood up for what was right, regardless of the consequences. This lesson has taught me to always do what I believe is right, even if it is not the easiest or most popular choice.

A few weeks ago, my brother and I were reminiscing about some of the difficult situations we have both faced and we both mentioned how much easier it would have been if our dad was still around. The thought of not having him in our lives still brings a sense of sadness, but we are comforted knowing that he lives on in our memories. I honoured my dad by naming my son after him, just so I know he is around me every day.

It would have been so beneficial for my father to be around to hold my hand and walk me through the challenges of life, but despite his absence, his teachings continue to be a source of guidance and comfort. They serve as a reminder that the lessons we learn from our parents and loved ones can have a lasting impact, long after they’re gone.

To end this, I am forever grateful for the lessons my father taught me and for the memories we shared. Although he is no longer with us, his teachings will always remain an integral part of who I am and I will continue to honour his legacy by living a life guided by honesty, integrity, and hard work, and by always being there for others, just as he taught us to do. And as I continue my journey in life, I will always remember his advice on relationships and strive to make my home a peaceful and harmonious place for my family. Thank you, dad, for everything you have taught me and for the love and guidance you have provided me even after your passing. You will always hold a special place in my heart and in the hearts of all who knew you.

Rest in peace, Dad.